George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Aug 25, 2014 1:03 pm

You guys ever notice just how many Autozones and Advance Auto Parts stores there are? I mean these suckers are all over the place. And a lot of them are within a block or across the street from each other. In Dallas, there's an Advance Auto Parts and an Autozone and the only thing between em is a Waffle House. There's one tiny parking lot separating them. Now how the hell can they make money being that close to each other? It's beyond me. And they're making the money cause they're always hiring. A good friend of mine is one of the managers at the Autozone there so I shop there. I went in a couple weeks back and he rings me up and out of habit starts to ask me if I found everything blah blah blah and I said "Yeah, but dude, you need a couple more people on these registers." And he just pointed to the sign on the door that said they're hiring. He said they can't keep enough employees in the place to keep up with the customers. I was kinda shocked actually. I mean, with all the auto parts stores around you'd think they'd be kinda slow but I guess not.

Same thing with drug stores. One right across from the other all over the place. Blows my mind.
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:54 am

Well, I told y'all it's not uncommon to see guys driving lawn mowers in town. So this morning I pull into McDs and as I'm getting in line at the drive thru, here comes this dude hauling ass on his lawn mower, tearin into the parking lot. I didn't have time to get my phone up but when I finally got around the building, sure enough, he'd parked and gone in to get him some breakfast.

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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:02 am

The funny thing is that these guys don't act like it's any big deal that they're riding their mowers around town. I mean, they're like "well, I'll just hop on the ol mower and go get me some breakfast!" And people don't think much of it either. We just kinda laugh and shake our heads like oh well, who's he gonna hurt on that thing, even if he's drunk.

People trip out on the old George Jones Mower Arrest story but it ain't unusual down here. I mean, if you're too drunk to drive to McDonalds then just jump on your mower! These ain't super lawn tractors so they can't go all that fast. Worst thing that'll happen is they run into your car, scratch it up and dent it a little. Hell, it's worth that just to have the story to tell. "Did I ever tell you about the time I got t boned by a drunk dude on a wore out Murray lawn mower? You ain't gonna believe this........"
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby Mr. Fantastic » Mon Sep 15, 2014 2:42 pm

DONNIEP wrote:You guys ever notice just how many Autozones and Advance Auto Parts stores there are? I mean these suckers are all over the place. And a lot of them are within a block or across the street from each other. In Dallas, there's an Advance Auto Parts and an Autozone and the only thing between em is a Waffle House. There's one tiny parking lot separating them. Now how the hell can they make money being that close to each other? It's beyond me. And they're making the money cause they're always hiring. A good friend of mine is one of the managers at the Autozone there so I shop there. I went in a couple weeks back and he rings me up and out of habit starts to ask me if I found everything blah blah blah and I said "Yeah, but dude, you need a couple more people on these registers." And he just pointed to the sign on the door that said they're hiring. He said they can't keep enough employees in the place to keep up with the customers. I was kinda shocked actually. I mean, with all the auto parts stores around you'd think they'd be kinda slow but I guess not.

Same thing with drug stores. One right across from the other all over the place. Blows my mind.


Auto parts do well in down times because everyone needs parts to keep their older cars running. About ten years ago people were just leasing new cars but getting burned on the turn in costs turned people off from leasing and even with car loan interest being low, people don't have the money to make the payments. So they buy an older used car and go to Autozone a lot.

My sister owns a pharmacy. It's making her some good money. Americans are the biggest pill poppers on the planet and they pay more for a pill than anyone. They have to buy their drugs somewhere.
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby Mr. Fantastic » Mon Sep 15, 2014 2:48 pm

The lawn mower has replaced the horse. When my grandfather was young most the people in Butte Montana still rode horses. I guess his uncle bought a model T pickup and when he came to a gate he yelled Woah! and the truck didn't stop and smashed through the gate. If you were too drunk to get home in the saloon. They just threw your drunk ass over the horse and the horse knew the way home. If you had the luxury of having a phone they might call your wife letting her know your drunk ass was on the way home.
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby Johann Shmidt » Mon Sep 15, 2014 10:45 pm

Mr. Fantastic wrote:The lawn mower has replaced the horse. When my grandfather was young most the people in Butte Montana still rode horses. I guess his uncle bought a model T pickup and when he came to a gate he yelled Woah! and the truck didn't stop and smashed through the gate. If you were too drunk to get home in the saloon. They just threw your drunk ass over the horse and the horse knew the way home. If you had the luxury of having a phone they might call your wife letting her know your drunk ass was on the way home.

I got on my Harley after drinking a couple pitchers of margaritas and rolled across a parking lot dragging my feet because I was too drunk to realize I needed to apply the brakes. It rolled to a stop then I fired it up and pulled over to where my friends parked their bikes just in time to see one of them fall over while the passenger was trying to get on. It didn't hurt the bike because he had crash bars that had obviously hit the ground a few times before by the look of them. We were all hammered but we made it home in one piece without anybody getting busted.
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby Mr. Fantastic » Mon Sep 15, 2014 11:28 pm

I believe you don't die until it's your time. You sure teased the grim reaper that night.
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby Johann Shmidt » Tue Sep 16, 2014 2:32 am

Mr. Fantastic wrote:I believe you don't die until it's your time. You sure teased the grim reaper that night.

Night? Try the middle of the day. I used to ride drunk and stoned during the day but not too much at night. I already have a problem judging distance at night because of my bad eyesight. Before I had cataract surgery I could barely see at night because everything looked blurry. Since then my eyesight has deteriorated so bad I can't even read road signs at times. It's a good thing I can't ride anymore because of my back because I can't see worth a damn now. I'm near sighted so I can see small print but I couldn't pass an eye exam at the DMV if my life depended on it. It's a good thing I haven't had to take one here in over ten years. I failed the eye exam at the DMV in Louisiana in 09 and got a restricted license there. Luckilly I got my California license back before it expired.
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby Mr. Fantastic » Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:21 am

I had 20/15 vision when I graduated from college. I tried to get an F-16 slot in the Idaho Air Guard but red green color blindness weeded me out. I passed everything else including all the motion sickness stuff they put your through. What's funny is I can pass the color blind test at the DMV but the one the US Air Force gives I can't. I can tell primary red from primary green but certain shades I can't.

Now I have to use reading glasses. My up close vision is going. I'm still good out far. Getting old I guess.
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Re: George Jones, Lawn Mowers, And Life In A Country Town

Postby Funkmonkey » Thu Aug 06, 2015 6:43 pm

You must have a great time on the simulators.
Brass Monkey. That funky monkey! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=drjGn_JpTOk
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